The first thing Frederick knew about himself was his beautiful voice and his first major decision was to use the voice to earn a living, life and to change the status of his immediate family. Mama Fredo as she was fondly called bore the burden of educating her only son and daughter after the death of their father in a ghastly motor accident years back. She had used all her properties to borrow money and sold others to compliment the token that came from the market she went daily. Rebecca, Frederick’s sister was younger, hopes were high that in four years, Frederick would finish school and in the fifth year get a job that pays enough to relieve mama Fredo of her financial strangulation. This was the family plan but life had a different plan for Frederick. Peter was a second year student when he met Frederick on the day of his Matriculation. Peter was everywhere eating with every family but didn’t go further from Mama Fredo’s pot of rice and stew. Peter was what happened in Frederick’s life, he was the kind of guy who fits into a role Mama Fredo didn’t consider. Mama Fredo left Frederick in Peter’s hand hoping he could orientate him. Peter took Frederick’s hand and handed him over to those who drilled him and turned him into a cult boy. Frederick got lost. Forgot where he was coming from and where he was going. He lost his identity and picked up a cosmetic identity. By the time he was through, he had lost everything; lost his voice to smoke and his mum to death from poverty. Frederick lost his future and lost his known world.
Peter himself was just ten years when he experienced a major heart break over his family. There was a serious fight between his rich father and mother. Something went wrong and his father went down from it. It happened so fast for his little brain to grasp, but he swore he saw his mother threw the stool at his father which hit him in the face and that was the beginning of his many hallucinating years. After this, his father was never okay mentally and his mother was never okay emotionally again. Peter saw his mother with men years later that met her emotional demands whilst he watched his father die away without remedy. His father couldn’t take it longer and he ended his life but not before his mother ended the marriage. What ended with it all was Peter’s life. He couldn’t see a need for it or any need to be ambitious. Ambition would bring wealth and women, and they both will make a man’s life miserable till death. It became his perspective, women are evil that shouldn’t be had, and when you do, handle them harshly. Peter concluded he needed to be empowered; he got empowered at the university. He became lost from his own life and his family. Circumstance happened that made him hate the concept of good. All he wanted was a strong defence against life issues and women.
Her innocence was her major strength from teenage years, but she lost it to her desire to be relevant to friends and men. She heard words like ‘you are beautiful but too innocent; we wish you could be more classy with your beauty. You are just wasting away your God giving beauty. No man would be interested in a beautiful but serious and boring girl. If you continue like this, we may stop being your friend’. Toyosi became confused; she didn’t want to lose her innocence or friends. But with time, she became ashamed of being addressed as innocent. It sounded like it meant she was immature and knows little about life. But she does and would like to prove she wasn’t a baby anymore. She tried adding a little bit of class to her beauty. She became the once upon a time innocent Toyosi. She turned out to be the happening babe in the neighborhood. Her innocence was lost, her pride was gone and she grew in a strange world with a strange identity.
And others too were lost………………….
Chinyere had passion for bead making. It started as an alternative means of making money but turns out to be what she would want to quit her job to pursue. Before she could do so, she changed her mind. Her friends advised bead making was for cheap girls. She was advised to rather venture into Gold or cloth/shoe business. Gold business became a lost business. She was never for such business, she never recovered from debt.
Aishah, young and hard working was married for five years to a man she described as unfriendly. In the early days of her life, she had an idea of the kind of man she wanted. Huge wealth was never a factor to consider in her future husband. Her man must be hard working, caring and God fearing. Along the line, she was hooked up with Jide, one of many Lagos big boys. This was necessarily because her friends concluded she needed one of Lagos richest to take care of her. For five years she was married to him, she only got money in abundance and nothing else, nothing from her list of ideal man. Jide abused her in every way and sleeps around with strange women. She got lost in her marriage.
Am I lost too?
I have had people treat me in a way to make me feel I don’t belong where they do. I have had people tell me my ways are only understood by people of my kind. I had a chat with someone, he advised me but I declined. I told him I would rather have more books on my shelf to entertain me than what he advised. He looked at me and said something that meant I was unusual. Can’t count the number of times people think I am weird because I chose not to do the normal thing guys do. For example I don’t do lies but some men do. I chose to be close to God and I don’t do club. I think I can say at some point, I was deserted by familiar faces. At some point it felt I was alone in my own world and it honestly felt I was lost. But I understood better. When these things happen, I knew I wasn’t lost but unique. This drives me on, no matter what happens or what anyone says. I am not normal as I won’t do what others are doing. I am unquestionably abnormal; my ways are different from their ways.
Does it feel you are lost?
If all your life you have never felt something is wrong with your decision because it tend to go the opposite way from general opinion, then you have not taken ownership of your existence. A general belief doesn’t make it right. It is only right if it is what you believe. To be extra-ordinary you have to be unique, to be unique you have to be lost in your own world of doing things and not be lost to what the world wants you to do. Many people are lost in the environment and around people they find themselves. That you find yourself in the unfortunate situation doesn’t mean you have to ignore your purpose. It is called a norm because it is generally considered to be the right thing to do base on inherent societal factors; it doesn’t mean it is what you should do. If you chose not to indulge in any bad activity wherever you find yourself, trust me, you are not lost, you are just being valuable. You are only lost when you lose sight of your purpose and start operating in a time and destiny wasting activity. You may be the only one standing for a good ideology, keep at it, it is when you succumb to pressure against it that you are lost. You are not lost because you are the only one who hates corruption, rape, laziness, fraud, cheat, lie, deceit, and embezzlement; but you would be lost if you join them. Stand firm in your beliefs, time will tell who gets lost.
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